T.E.K.A.N.A.N...!

Tekanan...pressure...stress...

Bila dalam situasi ni kesabaran teruji...
Rasional atau tidak dalam mengambil keputusan untuk bertindak...
Otak bekerja 24 jam...
Heart beat reach to the max!

Siapa suka tekanan...?
Sakit kepala, sakit hati...
Risau tak tentu arah...
Semua serba tak kena...
Escape for a while...? Definitely...! - longer would be better...

Mula mempertikaikan...
Kalau aku buat dulu macam ni, mungkin tak jadi macam tu...
Kalau aku buat macam tu, mungkin jadi macam ni...
Kalau aku tak buat apa-apa?? Tak...tak...masa tu memerlukan aku untuk bertindak...
It's just, am I doing the right thing...??

Even by doing the right thing, the pressure is still there...
Truth sometimes wasn't nice at all...
Truth is hard to accept...
You are still the bad guy when you were just trying to fix things up....!
And there you are....still figuring out...
Pressure, keep on rising....

Some people put their pressure away...
Some people kept them inside....
Some people put them on others...
Me...?

Searching for advice.....
I'm tired of doing that...!

I just want to escape....
Get my feet back on the ground...
Searching back for my strength...
Knowing that I'm better than this...

I don't know how to express myself....
Please don't ask me to talk about it...
Please don't ask me to tell you what I feel...
Stop asking for my problem...
Stop asking me if  I'm okay....
Stop trying to make me feel good...
Stop talking..........................
Just STOP..!!!

BiLa DaH teRpiKat.......................

Bila dah terpikat............
Kelu lidah nak berkata..........
Jantung berdebar macam tak muat dada....
Rindu pun melanda...

Layan perasaan................Baik punya...........!

But not me....
I hate it when I start to have feelings toward something...
Why...??
Because I know soon or later, I'm gonna lose it.....

Ada anak kucing datang rumah aku semalam....
Aku malas nak layan dia sebab nanti aku mesti asek nak tengok je...
Bila dia mati, aku sedey...

Tapi petang tadi aku dah terbagi makan pulak...
Memang aku asek pegi check up on him je lah since then...

Anak kucing takpe lagi....
Sedey hilang pun takde lah sampai sebulan...
Kadang-kadang 5 min je....
Tapi camne pulak kalau t'attach feeling dengan laki....??

Seriously....gua menggelabah babun....
Gua tak suka...
Gua akan cuba buat something untuk elak dari terus-terusan ada perasaan....
Sebab gua ni feeling dalam, susah sket nak shield...
Dah ada shield pun, tak cukup kuat....

Takpe....gua mesti guna shield yg baru ni....
Lubang2 sket tu, ampunkan je la....

Paham ke post aku ni...?
Tak paham sudah...nama kau dolah....tangan kau sebelah....

SeLfiSh............................

Salam 'alaik....

Selfish....tau mende??
Iftah qomus...

Aku benci orang selfish...
Rasa nak pijak je...
Tapi cmne lak kalau aku yg selfish...?
Ye aku memang selfish....
Sangat-sangat...

Aku paling tak suka hati aku sakit...
Untuk mengelakkan perkara demikian berlaku, aku bertindak memback up diri aku sebanyak yg bley...
Aku akan buat apa sahaja utk elak sakit hati in that particular moment...
Tapi...aku selalu end up sakit hati pd masa yg lain...huhu~
Sadis gler..........................

Masa untuk aku patah hati just days away...or maybe weeks away...
Aku tengah kelam kabut sekarang nak protect hati aku....
Mana nak cari protection ni....kedai mana jual??

I am selfish when I tend to use others to protect myself...
Aku tak rasa bersalah pun...
Cause I always end up hurting myself back...hua3....
Aneh..!

NOt aGaiN...!

WARNING!
THERE WILL BE LOTS OF CURSING IN THIS POST...

I got up this morning when hearing azan subuh.....
Bangun2...cuci muka....rasa nak mandi lah...so mandilah...

Takde orang lagi kat toilet...aku pun mandi dengan tenang...
Masuk bilik, solat subuh...
Then start to read my notes and stuff...nak exam esok ni...
Baca....baca...baca...
Damn...! Ngantuk plak...! Baru pukul 7.45...

Bukak lappy lah...baik layan youtube dari tidur...
Bukak lah lappy...tengok youtube...lagu-lagu nasyid...
Then terdetik nak bukak video muhasabah cinta...
Aku pun layan lah....sekali.......
Macam penah ku dengar lagu ini....?

OoooOhhh...dia penah nyanyi and upload video kat FB rupanya...
Rasa nak stalk FB dia lah...lalalalala~
Stalker tak bertauliah...Lalalala~
Then, OOooh shit.....!
The name of the gf being posted...by him of course...
My heart hurt like HELL...!

Aku tau dia dah ada gf, tapi tak tahu siapa...
And this morning, I knew...
Damn to the power of 1000...!
Selalu lah kena benda2 camni bila nak exam...
Why today.....??!!
F****ing shit....!
Hilang interest aku nak study ni....
I lost my study appetite...

Bila dah takde study appetite, aku pun bukak lah blog nak mengadu nasib...
Blog...blog...blog...writing always make you feel better...
Well in my case, typing...
Hell with that...it has the same objective - making yourself feeling better...

Aku rasa, aku tak suka dia betul2 kot...sebab selalu berubah2 je feeling aku...
But I tend to like him again because I used to like him...he's like 1st love or something(gerrdiiix!)

Ehh...tiba2 dah tak rasa pape dah...sape kate cursing tak bagus???
Cursing kat blog je.....kt luar, aku sopan orangnya(maka, bertaburanlah muntah2 ijau)....

Ada seseorang yang menjadi vertebrate aku semasa melalui saat2 sukar ini...
Seseorang ini, datang tepat pd waktunya...
Seseorang ini, messagenya amat bermakna...
Seseorang ini, kehadirannya sekuat instinc aku menyatakan...
Seseorang ini, menjadi pemadam pd yg lainnya...

TQ for being there as for last nite and this early morning...
It is enough for me to know your existence...

Sorry for the cursing...get use to it...
I'm not that cOoL when it comes to emotions...
This is just me...

TsuNaMi...............

Salam 'alaik....

Tsunami...this is no joke...

It happened before...but I only knew about tsunami when I was in form 3...

The first tsunami I know and it hit Acheh...

Thousands were dead...and it was so devastating....

Nothing's left...

Everything got washed away by the tide...
A very powerful tide....
Can you imagine how powerful the tide is gonna be during the independent day?
Wallahu'alam....

Latest news, tsunami in Japan...
It is not a very shocking news for me...
Because it is well known that earthquake used to hit Japan...

It is not shocking, but still this is no joke!



Can you see the different? If not, turn off your PC and go to the Doc to check your eyes...



Japanese work very hard to get their country back on after Hiroshima and Nagasaki got hit by the bombs...

And in only one day, we can see the destruction...

It breaks my heart watching the water washed away houses and cars not to forget PEOPLE!

My sister called me on the day tsunami hit Japan and she said "sian org2 Jepun ni...kalau Amerika yg kena kan bagus..."

I just said to her "may be sebab pornografi kt Jepun kot...kat sana kan industri porn besar"

It just an opinion...I don't even know how big the porn industry is...but I did hear the rumors...

And my sissy agreed...well I guess, may be....

The nuclear power plant, Fukushima Dai-ichi plant has exploded 2 times so far...

The earthquake cause the plant to be unstable and the plant reactors got heat up...

And finally explosions happened...

People might die in instant due to the explosion, but, the radiation could last in a body of a survival...

So far, they said no contaminant is released...

Alhamdulillah....

But series of explosions might occur if right action is not taken....

Switching to Malay......

Senang cakap, kalau Allah Ta'ala nak turun bala, sekejap je kan?

Walaupun segelintir yg buat, tapi semua akan kena....

Meh kita muhasabah diri kita balik....

Kalau tengok apa jadi kt Acheh, Jepun, kira dah banyak dah petanda Allah Ta'ala bg...

Sedar tak???

Mungkin kesedaran rohaniah kt Jepun ni kurang sebab kt sana tak ramai Muslim....

But still it is a sign from Allah Ta'ala...

So beware Malaysia...

Nauzubillah...but it is not impossible that we could be the next one...

Aku tak mintak bala tu....Nauzubillah...

Aku mintak kita berhati-hati....

Recheck ourselves....

Ya Allah, kasihanilah kami, berilah kami petunjuk dan bimbinglah kami ke jalan redha-Mu....

Amin ya Rabb.....

Wallahu'alam...

tHe ProGreSsiOn.....

Salam 'alaik...

What is in progress???
I think I like this one guy...I think, I kinda like him a lot...
He did this simple thing but I appreciate it so much n my heart kinda melt...
I don't know why...seriously!
It is just ONE thing...am I silly? gone mad may be?
Am I allowed to say this?

Ok, back to the business...
I'm gonna tell you guys (if there any of you out there) about my diet progression...
It is been a struggle 2 weeks for me...
But it paid off...
I actually lost about 4kg...
Amazing huh?!

Losing weight is just one thing...and it is hard enough...but to maintain it, it's even harder...
I lost that weight because a very low intake of sugar and no rice and bread, bun for the whole 2 weeks...
What is gonna happen to me if I start to eat rice and bun?

I haven't start eating rice yet...but may be I'm gonna take it in this week...
My body starts to give signals that I have to change my diet a little bit....
Seriously, I don't know where to begin...
I love the new me...a lot...love seeing myself in a mirror...
But I am really scare of the food now...

I'm afraid if I start to eat rice, then I ate them a lot...
I work my butt off on that treadmill for 30 mins and burn up to 260 calories...
And just by taking one plate of rice, I gain 250 calories...
Wow! That is definitely not gonna happen.....

I know I can take a small amount of rice, very small portion and that wouldn't hurt....
But I just so afraid to begin....
I'll eat it when my body need it the most...depends on my activities on that particular day...
So far, I never let myself hungry and never let myself full...
I just eat to make sure that I'm not hungry....

Well lets wait how much weight I lost at the end of this week...
Saturday is a weighing day...
So nervous when that day come...

But I'm telling you guys, this whole diet journey actually make me feel good and insyaAllah I'm gonna look good too...
The most important thing is that I'm healthy and fit...have the stamina to run on the treadmill...
So far my record is 6.4(speed) for 25 mins and by this Saturday I want to reach 6.5....
Alhamdulillah....finally, I can sustain my running (or jogging =P)...
Before this I only able to run about 10 mins with a speed of 6.2....that is sucks!

For those who wants to change, lose weight may be...please don't wait any longer...
Lets together burn that fat off...it is not that you can wear a very sexy dress when you are all toned up..
But to become a healthy person...
Love yourself...Allah has made us in a very perfect way...
It is our job to maintain it and makes it better...
It is a great most precious gift you have given to yourself if you are healthy...

Give it a go!
Start exercising... hit the gym!!!
Or may be the jogging track or watch youtube and follow the exercise...
There are tons of exercises in youtube...just try it...
MOVE YOUR BODY!
And of course monitor your food intake...

I have just started, and I have a very long way to go....
So come and join me....
I would love to hear your progression...

Wallahua'lam.... 

DiEt......................

Salam 'alaik.....

Alhamdulillah...pagi ni cuaca very the nice you know....tak panas sangat macam semalam...
I told you in previous post about the detox yg kitorang buat the whole week...
Aku ngelat satu hari...haha~
So, aku just detox for 6 days je...ok la tu kan...6 hari perut aku rehat....hihi~

For the next 2 weeks ni aku ada program yang lagi best...
PROTEIN DIET!
No sugar for the entire 2 weeks only protein, low fat and a bit of carb (since it is impossible to find food with 0% carb)...
The goal is to stop using the energy from sugar but instead energy from fat...
InsyaAllah, kalau berjaya ni, dapat la merasa jadi kurus....hooooaaaheee~

Tapi bukan setakat makan je...kena exercise...since this is "6 weeks to a hollywood body" programme...
So the goal is not just losing the weight but also healthy and toned body...

Aku dah try semalam kat gym...25 minutes cardio and 20 minutes body toning(weight lifting, push ups bla...bla...bla..)
Hari ni, dua-dua lengan gua lenguh....Steve Zim (author of the book) kata, that's good...kiranya betul la aku buat tu...kalau tak betul, tak ada effect apa-apa kat badan...

Paling best main exercise ball kot...haha...siap tergolek-golek...nasib baik Pok Nik tak dok kak bilik...kalu ado meme keno bahe sokmo....

Exercise memang tak ada problem...peralatan kat gym cukup...tapi bab makan ni....
So far aku makan salad, tuna, epal, plum, yong taufu, and protein drink...
Sebabkan tak boleh nak masak kt UMK ni, jadinya memang limited la makanan especially sayur...
Memang akan kerap lapar...sejak semalam, aku makan every 2-3 hours...
Tadi pegi kelas pukul 8-10, berlari (hyperbola je ni) aku balik bilik sebab lapar...and makan salad, tuna, epal...

Ni baru second day and 12 days more to go...kena bersabar ni...
Pukul 12 nanti aku nak pegi cari ulam-ulaman (ni je yang banyak kt Klate) and steamed chicken breast kalau kedai tu bukak la....

InsyaAllah....hanya dengan izin-Nya sahaja la program ni boleh berjaya...
InsyaAllah aku akan buat sehabis baik...well it's for myself jugak kan....

Dah 22 tahun aku overweight...and now it is time to make a different...
My goal is to fit perfectly in lingeries...haha!
Its that too much to ask?
We will see....huahuahua

See ya in next post....Wasalam...=D

PaGi.......

Salam 'alaik....

Aku dah bangun dari pukul 5.30 tadi....

Bangun awal sebab nak sahur....hari ni puasa....

Aku dengan membe2 aku buat detoxification for 1 week...

Hehe..................

Bila aku bukak yahoo hompage, aku selalu ter-update (x sengaja) dengan news2 dia....

Happens to be aku terbaca update pasal Gulf of Mexico...

Apa yang jadi kat Gulf tu?

Oil spill......

It happened last year...

Macam2 cara nak bersihkan spill tu...

One of the way is by burning the oil...menangis BP....

Oh, another way is by oil eating microbe...

The oil seems to be disappeared on the surface...

But at the bottom....not so well....

Microbe, they did a very good job, but not all the spill they consumed...

There's still leftovers which may be suspended under the Gulf...

Burning the oil left soot at the bottom...

Banyak haiwan2 laut yang sengsara....

Macam Mr. Crab ni....

Kesian.....kesian....

Ni lah dia price that have to be paid for development....

And it is my job as sustainable student to make it right....

(berkobar la weeehhhh)

Cepat2 la alternative energy digunakan secara meluas...

Biar tak payah cari gali minyak lagi...menangis lagi BP...

But I don't think so...

As long as there's oil, people will search for it...

And I hope this oil seeking and drilling personnel become more ethical and concern about the environment...

That's all folk.....

Love yourself and love the earth...

Without the earth you couldn't love yourself..

Because you probably don't exist....

Because there is no earth...Got it?(senyap....bunyi rama2...rama2 ada bunyikah?)

Hope so...

Wallahu a'lam...

BoYs AnD SeX...wHaT tHe....?????

Salam 'alaik....

Gerun tak tengok title tu? Gerun laaaa....haha~

It is well known that boys and sex, they're like....good 'buddy' if I may say so....
For me, that's normal and it can be accepted....
Tapi apa yang tak boleh nak di accept is when all the time is sex time...
GET A LIFE!!!

It happens to be aku kenal dengan sorang hamba Allah ni (may Allah show him the way)...
Baru second day kenal dia, dia dah cakap pasal sex....what the......?????

Long story short, aku banyak la gak basuh mamat ni....
I hope he will change...but I am totally wrong....
At last, aku give up....buang masa la...

Aku tahu ramai je mamat2 kt luar sana yang nak benda tu...
But hey, be gentleman la...jangan nampak sangat kemaruk...
Malu dowh.....
Pe ke putus wayar....

Bagi aku, orang yang layak dapat benda tu is married people...
Kalau buat before, dosa, semua orang tahu but most important, you don't deserve it!
Sebab benda tu datang dengan tanggungjawab...
Buat sebelum kahwin sebab tak nak bertanggungjawab...
And you guys, you are a coward and irresponsible...!!!

"Alaaa...buat la dulu...then bila masa yang sesuai, kita kawen la..."
BULLSHIT!!!
Please.....don't buy this!

Kalau lelaki tu sayang, he will wait...
And he's gonna treat you good cause you are special to him...
If he ever ask you to sleep together, slap him on the face, give him money....
So that he can sleep with hooker not you....
Erk....cam menggalakkan pulak...

Bukan...tapi tu la perumpamaan dia...
Even nak sleep dengan hooker pun kena bayar...
Ni nak sleep dengan kekasih pengarang jantung kena la akad nikah elok2...bagi mas kahwin....
Adakan majlis yang mengiktiraf ikatan tu....
So desu ka???

Think about it guys and girls...
Wallahu a'lam.....

BeRbAlOiKaH???

Salam....
About 3 days ago I watched Social Network....nice movie...tak ada yang bombastik pon...just jalan cerita Mark Zuckerberg...quite complicated with issues...so far, bley la tok dilayan...tp benda yg best, kalau nak blogging, tak payah tulis panjang2...tu la yg aku belajar dr cerita tu...hoho~

Before tu aku tengok The Blind Side....wahhhhh....awesome laaaaa.....!!!
Aku memang suka cerita2 pasal family ni...plus Sandra Bullock yg berlakon...superb...well so far she never turns me down with her movies...so, go Bullock...

Apa yang "berbaloikah???"
Berbaloi ke menunggu sesuatu yg tak pasti???
Menanti benda yg bertahun-tahun lamanya...

'Dia' tak tau pun apa yg aku rasa....
'Dia' tak tau pun aku tunggu...
Aku pun tak tau 'dia' tu available ke tak...

Membe2 aku kenal aku as selamba person....
Straight forward....
Willing to say almost anything as long it wouldn't hurt anyone(sometimes hurt gak...)

 Tapi dengan 'dia' aku kaku sikit (menipu...banyak kot kaku...)
'Dia' can make me speechless...which rarely happen to me...

Aku selalu rasa nothing gonna happen between us...
So, aku selalu buka diri aku untuk berpaling (gler la ayat!)
But, it always ends up remind me of 'dia'...
*sigh*........

'Dia' selalu 'menyebok' dalam hidup aku...
Dalam jaga and dalam mimpi (poyo gler ayat BM B3 aku niehhh)

Still.....berbaloikah????

PeReMpUaN CaNtiK...................FeWWWiiiTTT....!

Salam....
For those u read my blog (if any of u...) hope u guys in a perfect condition....
Time aku tulis blog ni, hujan tak berhenti2 turun....sejuk bangat...!
Assignment aku pun boleh tahan la banyak nye....
Tapi aku tak ada mood pulak nak buat....

2,3 hari ni, aku tak happy sangat...so many things happen and aku belum dapat catch up, dah ada another things happen....capek gua...
Semua jadi in a flash......just about 2.30 p.m td, aku punya selipar pulak putus...duit lagi....naik demam kepialu aku dok pikir pasal duit ni....

Back to my post title...perempuan cantik....
Perempuan, senang je nak kenal...on the spot kita bley cam itu perempuan....
Tapi cantik? Sorang kata cantik, sorang tak....susah nak jatuhkan hukum....
Kalau dah majoriti kata perempuan tu cantik, betul la tu dia cantik...maka, jatuhlah hukum....

So, pada perempuan yang majoriti kata dia cantik ni, hidup dia quite easy la....
Why???
Coz tak payah susah payah pun nak tarik, ambik perhatian...ramai tukang memberi...
Dia nangis, ramai tukang pujuk...lelaki la yang paling ramai...
Tak dapat pujuk depan2, hantar message, "awk ok ke? nape nangis...sedey sy tgk"
Senang cakap, tak akan di ignore lah....

Bab bercinta pulak....senang jugak....clash dgn sorang, dah ada yang line up...
Lonely2 ni kira macam la' maujud lah pada diri dia...
The blank is always being filled....cheyyywwaaahhhh.....

Tapi tak semua perempuan cantik ni suka dgn layanan yang dia dapat....
Sometimes, perhatian yang dia dapat jadi beban pulak...rimas...ramai sgt orang hulurkan simpati...
Dorang gak selalu jadi mangsa ngoratan makhluk2 aneh....

Aku memang pantang laki ngorat2 ni...berani la ngorat aku, aku ngorat balik...terdiam...
Tapi takpe...kes laki ngorat aku amat jarang terjadi...laki2 buta je yang ngorat....

Perempuan2 biasa cam aku ni, memang teringin lah nak jadi cantik...cam best je kan jadi cantik.....
Tapi, macam mana???udoh ghupe macam ni, macam ni ler sampei bile2....

Yang penting, bersyukur....bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada...
Bayangkan, sesuatu yang much worst happen to us...kita mesti begging to turn back the time...
Time tu, baru pandai nk appreciate...and.....it is too late...

Path hidup kita berbeza dari orang lain....
Kita rasa hidup orang lain interesting because of their physical appearance....
Trust me, your life is much more better than them...

My advice, bila kita rasa down, think of your strength....
Look inside you....there is only ONE you...something that you had while others don't....

That's all..................
Salam....barokallah 'alaikum.....