Salam 'Alaik....
My last update was in 2011... what the...???
So like outdated... haha...

Masa tahun 2011 compared to now, 2013.. many have changes...
Dari berhingus, mak tolong lap kan...
Sampai da pandai lap sendiri *pandainye anak mak!*
Sampai la bila da besar da pandai cover hingus meleleh...

Aku bukan nak update pasal hingus..
Tapi aku nak cakap pasal kebolehan kita untuk berubah...
Berubah sama ke arah yg lebih baik atau buruk..
Dan sebenarnya kita ni ada kebolehan dalam diri yg kadang2 melebihi apa yg kita jangkakan...
For me, let it be a secret.. anyway, it wasn't that nice to share...

Kita melalui beberapa fasa dalam kehidupan...
Dari riang ria di hari raya, sedih pilu memukul *hiiiaaakkk* kalbu...
Sampailah kita bangkit dan hanya mahu meneruskan hidup...
Dalam pada kita bangkit tu, kejadian yg lepas byk mengajar kita...
Dan kita mungkin *sometimes the possibilities can be high*....
Kita mungkin... BERTUKAR! menjadi orang lain....

Bukanlah bertukar teruk sangat...
Tapi ye la.. jadi lebih berhati-hati..
Lebih pandai menilai..
So on and so forth...

 Dan bila kita berpaling ke belakang...
Tak sangka, I've made it!!
Alhamdulillah.. don't be THAT surprise...
Because Allah knew from the beginning we can definitely survive His tests...
Panjatkan kesyukuran....
Dan jadilah orang yg lebih baik...

Pabila kita terleka *mamai...mamai..mamai...*
Berdoa kepada Allah semoga Dia selalu ingatkan kita balik...
Mencari kebahagiaan dunia, tak kan penah puas..
Selagi tak berlandaskan syarak...

Dan dalam kes2 terpencil...
Kita mungkin tersalah langkah...
Dan menjadi seseorang yg kita tak sangka boleh jadi macam tu...
"Wow! dulu aku tak macam ni pon... kenapa dgn aku ni?? Siapa aku.. Keluar! Keluar makhluk halus dlm diriku!<------ macam aku kata tadi.. 'kes2 terpencil'....
At this point, trust me.. Lots of struggle with your own self...

Kita mencari di mana silapnya... aku kah?? org lainkah??
Makcik kantin semalam kah yg telah meletakkan cili yg byk dlm nasi goreng aku???

The hardest part is figuring who to blame..
Figuring what you did wrong and allowing this to happen....
Figuring would it be the same if your path is different...
Figuring why it happens to you...
How to stop this...
Why is it hard to stop!!!
Why.... ????

Mak datukkkk... memang part tu la yg payah ehhh.....
Tapi, jangan berputus asa...
Selagi mana kita dapat buat baik, untuk betulkan keadaan...
BUATLAH...
Selagi kita ada peluang untuk buat diri kita rasa baik...
BUATLAH...
Dan keep on berdoa... Berdoa... BERDOA....
Insya Allah... ada jalannya... *xde niat nk copy nama cerita kt Oasis*

So guys... my life is a hell of mess rite now....
I need to fix it.. its not easy.. but I'll try my best...
So see ya soon... *another 1 year??*
Wallahua'lam...
Wassalam.....

T.E.K.A.N.A.N...!

Tekanan...pressure...stress...

Bila dalam situasi ni kesabaran teruji...
Rasional atau tidak dalam mengambil keputusan untuk bertindak...
Otak bekerja 24 jam...
Heart beat reach to the max!

Siapa suka tekanan...?
Sakit kepala, sakit hati...
Risau tak tentu arah...
Semua serba tak kena...
Escape for a while...? Definitely...! - longer would be better...

Mula mempertikaikan...
Kalau aku buat dulu macam ni, mungkin tak jadi macam tu...
Kalau aku buat macam tu, mungkin jadi macam ni...
Kalau aku tak buat apa-apa?? Tak...tak...masa tu memerlukan aku untuk bertindak...
It's just, am I doing the right thing...??

Even by doing the right thing, the pressure is still there...
Truth sometimes wasn't nice at all...
Truth is hard to accept...
You are still the bad guy when you were just trying to fix things up....!
And there you are....still figuring out...
Pressure, keep on rising....

Some people put their pressure away...
Some people kept them inside....
Some people put them on others...
Me...?

Searching for advice.....
I'm tired of doing that...!

I just want to escape....
Get my feet back on the ground...
Searching back for my strength...
Knowing that I'm better than this...

I don't know how to express myself....
Please don't ask me to talk about it...
Please don't ask me to tell you what I feel...
Stop asking for my problem...
Stop asking me if  I'm okay....
Stop trying to make me feel good...
Stop talking..........................
Just STOP..!!!

BiLa DaH teRpiKat.......................

Bila dah terpikat............
Kelu lidah nak berkata..........
Jantung berdebar macam tak muat dada....
Rindu pun melanda...

Layan perasaan................Baik punya...........!

But not me....
I hate it when I start to have feelings toward something...
Why...??
Because I know soon or later, I'm gonna lose it.....

Ada anak kucing datang rumah aku semalam....
Aku malas nak layan dia sebab nanti aku mesti asek nak tengok je...
Bila dia mati, aku sedey...

Tapi petang tadi aku dah terbagi makan pulak...
Memang aku asek pegi check up on him je lah since then...

Anak kucing takpe lagi....
Sedey hilang pun takde lah sampai sebulan...
Kadang-kadang 5 min je....
Tapi camne pulak kalau t'attach feeling dengan laki....??

Seriously....gua menggelabah babun....
Gua tak suka...
Gua akan cuba buat something untuk elak dari terus-terusan ada perasaan....
Sebab gua ni feeling dalam, susah sket nak shield...
Dah ada shield pun, tak cukup kuat....

Takpe....gua mesti guna shield yg baru ni....
Lubang2 sket tu, ampunkan je la....

Paham ke post aku ni...?
Tak paham sudah...nama kau dolah....tangan kau sebelah....

SeLfiSh............................

Salam 'alaik....

Selfish....tau mende??
Iftah qomus...

Aku benci orang selfish...
Rasa nak pijak je...
Tapi cmne lak kalau aku yg selfish...?
Ye aku memang selfish....
Sangat-sangat...

Aku paling tak suka hati aku sakit...
Untuk mengelakkan perkara demikian berlaku, aku bertindak memback up diri aku sebanyak yg bley...
Aku akan buat apa sahaja utk elak sakit hati in that particular moment...
Tapi...aku selalu end up sakit hati pd masa yg lain...huhu~
Sadis gler..........................

Masa untuk aku patah hati just days away...or maybe weeks away...
Aku tengah kelam kabut sekarang nak protect hati aku....
Mana nak cari protection ni....kedai mana jual??

I am selfish when I tend to use others to protect myself...
Aku tak rasa bersalah pun...
Cause I always end up hurting myself back...hua3....
Aneh..!

NOt aGaiN...!

WARNING!
THERE WILL BE LOTS OF CURSING IN THIS POST...

I got up this morning when hearing azan subuh.....
Bangun2...cuci muka....rasa nak mandi lah...so mandilah...

Takde orang lagi kat toilet...aku pun mandi dengan tenang...
Masuk bilik, solat subuh...
Then start to read my notes and stuff...nak exam esok ni...
Baca....baca...baca...
Damn...! Ngantuk plak...! Baru pukul 7.45...

Bukak lappy lah...baik layan youtube dari tidur...
Bukak lah lappy...tengok youtube...lagu-lagu nasyid...
Then terdetik nak bukak video muhasabah cinta...
Aku pun layan lah....sekali.......
Macam penah ku dengar lagu ini....?

OoooOhhh...dia penah nyanyi and upload video kat FB rupanya...
Rasa nak stalk FB dia lah...lalalalala~
Stalker tak bertauliah...Lalalala~
Then, OOooh shit.....!
The name of the gf being posted...by him of course...
My heart hurt like HELL...!

Aku tau dia dah ada gf, tapi tak tahu siapa...
And this morning, I knew...
Damn to the power of 1000...!
Selalu lah kena benda2 camni bila nak exam...
Why today.....??!!
F****ing shit....!
Hilang interest aku nak study ni....
I lost my study appetite...

Bila dah takde study appetite, aku pun bukak lah blog nak mengadu nasib...
Blog...blog...blog...writing always make you feel better...
Well in my case, typing...
Hell with that...it has the same objective - making yourself feeling better...

Aku rasa, aku tak suka dia betul2 kot...sebab selalu berubah2 je feeling aku...
But I tend to like him again because I used to like him...he's like 1st love or something(gerrdiiix!)

Ehh...tiba2 dah tak rasa pape dah...sape kate cursing tak bagus???
Cursing kat blog je.....kt luar, aku sopan orangnya(maka, bertaburanlah muntah2 ijau)....

Ada seseorang yang menjadi vertebrate aku semasa melalui saat2 sukar ini...
Seseorang ini, datang tepat pd waktunya...
Seseorang ini, messagenya amat bermakna...
Seseorang ini, kehadirannya sekuat instinc aku menyatakan...
Seseorang ini, menjadi pemadam pd yg lainnya...

TQ for being there as for last nite and this early morning...
It is enough for me to know your existence...

Sorry for the cursing...get use to it...
I'm not that cOoL when it comes to emotions...
This is just me...

TsuNaMi...............

Salam 'alaik....

Tsunami...this is no joke...

It happened before...but I only knew about tsunami when I was in form 3...

The first tsunami I know and it hit Acheh...

Thousands were dead...and it was so devastating....

Nothing's left...

Everything got washed away by the tide...
A very powerful tide....
Can you imagine how powerful the tide is gonna be during the independent day?
Wallahu'alam....

Latest news, tsunami in Japan...
It is not a very shocking news for me...
Because it is well known that earthquake used to hit Japan...

It is not shocking, but still this is no joke!



Can you see the different? If not, turn off your PC and go to the Doc to check your eyes...



Japanese work very hard to get their country back on after Hiroshima and Nagasaki got hit by the bombs...

And in only one day, we can see the destruction...

It breaks my heart watching the water washed away houses and cars not to forget PEOPLE!

My sister called me on the day tsunami hit Japan and she said "sian org2 Jepun ni...kalau Amerika yg kena kan bagus..."

I just said to her "may be sebab pornografi kt Jepun kot...kat sana kan industri porn besar"

It just an opinion...I don't even know how big the porn industry is...but I did hear the rumors...

And my sissy agreed...well I guess, may be....

The nuclear power plant, Fukushima Dai-ichi plant has exploded 2 times so far...

The earthquake cause the plant to be unstable and the plant reactors got heat up...

And finally explosions happened...

People might die in instant due to the explosion, but, the radiation could last in a body of a survival...

So far, they said no contaminant is released...

Alhamdulillah....

But series of explosions might occur if right action is not taken....

Switching to Malay......

Senang cakap, kalau Allah Ta'ala nak turun bala, sekejap je kan?

Walaupun segelintir yg buat, tapi semua akan kena....

Meh kita muhasabah diri kita balik....

Kalau tengok apa jadi kt Acheh, Jepun, kira dah banyak dah petanda Allah Ta'ala bg...

Sedar tak???

Mungkin kesedaran rohaniah kt Jepun ni kurang sebab kt sana tak ramai Muslim....

But still it is a sign from Allah Ta'ala...

So beware Malaysia...

Nauzubillah...but it is not impossible that we could be the next one...

Aku tak mintak bala tu....Nauzubillah...

Aku mintak kita berhati-hati....

Recheck ourselves....

Ya Allah, kasihanilah kami, berilah kami petunjuk dan bimbinglah kami ke jalan redha-Mu....

Amin ya Rabb.....

Wallahu'alam...

tHe ProGreSsiOn.....

Salam 'alaik...

What is in progress???
I think I like this one guy...I think, I kinda like him a lot...
He did this simple thing but I appreciate it so much n my heart kinda melt...
I don't know why...seriously!
It is just ONE thing...am I silly? gone mad may be?
Am I allowed to say this?

Ok, back to the business...
I'm gonna tell you guys (if there any of you out there) about my diet progression...
It is been a struggle 2 weeks for me...
But it paid off...
I actually lost about 4kg...
Amazing huh?!

Losing weight is just one thing...and it is hard enough...but to maintain it, it's even harder...
I lost that weight because a very low intake of sugar and no rice and bread, bun for the whole 2 weeks...
What is gonna happen to me if I start to eat rice and bun?

I haven't start eating rice yet...but may be I'm gonna take it in this week...
My body starts to give signals that I have to change my diet a little bit....
Seriously, I don't know where to begin...
I love the new me...a lot...love seeing myself in a mirror...
But I am really scare of the food now...

I'm afraid if I start to eat rice, then I ate them a lot...
I work my butt off on that treadmill for 30 mins and burn up to 260 calories...
And just by taking one plate of rice, I gain 250 calories...
Wow! That is definitely not gonna happen.....

I know I can take a small amount of rice, very small portion and that wouldn't hurt....
But I just so afraid to begin....
I'll eat it when my body need it the most...depends on my activities on that particular day...
So far, I never let myself hungry and never let myself full...
I just eat to make sure that I'm not hungry....

Well lets wait how much weight I lost at the end of this week...
Saturday is a weighing day...
So nervous when that day come...

But I'm telling you guys, this whole diet journey actually make me feel good and insyaAllah I'm gonna look good too...
The most important thing is that I'm healthy and fit...have the stamina to run on the treadmill...
So far my record is 6.4(speed) for 25 mins and by this Saturday I want to reach 6.5....
Alhamdulillah....finally, I can sustain my running (or jogging =P)...
Before this I only able to run about 10 mins with a speed of 6.2....that is sucks!

For those who wants to change, lose weight may be...please don't wait any longer...
Lets together burn that fat off...it is not that you can wear a very sexy dress when you are all toned up..
But to become a healthy person...
Love yourself...Allah has made us in a very perfect way...
It is our job to maintain it and makes it better...
It is a great most precious gift you have given to yourself if you are healthy...

Give it a go!
Start exercising... hit the gym!!!
Or may be the jogging track or watch youtube and follow the exercise...
There are tons of exercises in youtube...just try it...
MOVE YOUR BODY!
And of course monitor your food intake...

I have just started, and I have a very long way to go....
So come and join me....
I would love to hear your progression...

Wallahua'lam....