BoYs AnD SeX...wHaT tHe....?????

Salam 'alaik....

Gerun tak tengok title tu? Gerun laaaa....haha~

It is well known that boys and sex, they're like....good 'buddy' if I may say so....
For me, that's normal and it can be accepted....
Tapi apa yang tak boleh nak di accept is when all the time is sex time...
GET A LIFE!!!

It happens to be aku kenal dengan sorang hamba Allah ni (may Allah show him the way)...
Baru second day kenal dia, dia dah cakap pasal sex....what the......?????

Long story short, aku banyak la gak basuh mamat ni....
I hope he will change...but I am totally wrong....
At last, aku give up....buang masa la...

Aku tahu ramai je mamat2 kt luar sana yang nak benda tu...
But hey, be gentleman la...jangan nampak sangat kemaruk...
Malu dowh.....
Pe ke putus wayar....

Bagi aku, orang yang layak dapat benda tu is married people...
Kalau buat before, dosa, semua orang tahu but most important, you don't deserve it!
Sebab benda tu datang dengan tanggungjawab...
Buat sebelum kahwin sebab tak nak bertanggungjawab...
And you guys, you are a coward and irresponsible...!!!

"Alaaa...buat la dulu...then bila masa yang sesuai, kita kawen la..."
BULLSHIT!!!
Please.....don't buy this!

Kalau lelaki tu sayang, he will wait...
And he's gonna treat you good cause you are special to him...
If he ever ask you to sleep together, slap him on the face, give him money....
So that he can sleep with hooker not you....
Erk....cam menggalakkan pulak...

Bukan...tapi tu la perumpamaan dia...
Even nak sleep dengan hooker pun kena bayar...
Ni nak sleep dengan kekasih pengarang jantung kena la akad nikah elok2...bagi mas kahwin....
Adakan majlis yang mengiktiraf ikatan tu....
So desu ka???

Think about it guys and girls...
Wallahu a'lam.....

BeRbAlOiKaH???

Salam....
About 3 days ago I watched Social Network....nice movie...tak ada yang bombastik pon...just jalan cerita Mark Zuckerberg...quite complicated with issues...so far, bley la tok dilayan...tp benda yg best, kalau nak blogging, tak payah tulis panjang2...tu la yg aku belajar dr cerita tu...hoho~

Before tu aku tengok The Blind Side....wahhhhh....awesome laaaaa.....!!!
Aku memang suka cerita2 pasal family ni...plus Sandra Bullock yg berlakon...superb...well so far she never turns me down with her movies...so, go Bullock...

Apa yang "berbaloikah???"
Berbaloi ke menunggu sesuatu yg tak pasti???
Menanti benda yg bertahun-tahun lamanya...

'Dia' tak tau pun apa yg aku rasa....
'Dia' tak tau pun aku tunggu...
Aku pun tak tau 'dia' tu available ke tak...

Membe2 aku kenal aku as selamba person....
Straight forward....
Willing to say almost anything as long it wouldn't hurt anyone(sometimes hurt gak...)

 Tapi dengan 'dia' aku kaku sikit (menipu...banyak kot kaku...)
'Dia' can make me speechless...which rarely happen to me...

Aku selalu rasa nothing gonna happen between us...
So, aku selalu buka diri aku untuk berpaling (gler la ayat!)
But, it always ends up remind me of 'dia'...
*sigh*........

'Dia' selalu 'menyebok' dalam hidup aku...
Dalam jaga and dalam mimpi (poyo gler ayat BM B3 aku niehhh)

Still.....berbaloikah????

PeReMpUaN CaNtiK...................FeWWWiiiTTT....!

Salam....
For those u read my blog (if any of u...) hope u guys in a perfect condition....
Time aku tulis blog ni, hujan tak berhenti2 turun....sejuk bangat...!
Assignment aku pun boleh tahan la banyak nye....
Tapi aku tak ada mood pulak nak buat....

2,3 hari ni, aku tak happy sangat...so many things happen and aku belum dapat catch up, dah ada another things happen....capek gua...
Semua jadi in a flash......just about 2.30 p.m td, aku punya selipar pulak putus...duit lagi....naik demam kepialu aku dok pikir pasal duit ni....

Back to my post title...perempuan cantik....
Perempuan, senang je nak kenal...on the spot kita bley cam itu perempuan....
Tapi cantik? Sorang kata cantik, sorang tak....susah nak jatuhkan hukum....
Kalau dah majoriti kata perempuan tu cantik, betul la tu dia cantik...maka, jatuhlah hukum....

So, pada perempuan yang majoriti kata dia cantik ni, hidup dia quite easy la....
Why???
Coz tak payah susah payah pun nak tarik, ambik perhatian...ramai tukang memberi...
Dia nangis, ramai tukang pujuk...lelaki la yang paling ramai...
Tak dapat pujuk depan2, hantar message, "awk ok ke? nape nangis...sedey sy tgk"
Senang cakap, tak akan di ignore lah....

Bab bercinta pulak....senang jugak....clash dgn sorang, dah ada yang line up...
Lonely2 ni kira macam la' maujud lah pada diri dia...
The blank is always being filled....cheyyywwaaahhhh.....

Tapi tak semua perempuan cantik ni suka dgn layanan yang dia dapat....
Sometimes, perhatian yang dia dapat jadi beban pulak...rimas...ramai sgt orang hulurkan simpati...
Dorang gak selalu jadi mangsa ngoratan makhluk2 aneh....

Aku memang pantang laki ngorat2 ni...berani la ngorat aku, aku ngorat balik...terdiam...
Tapi takpe...kes laki ngorat aku amat jarang terjadi...laki2 buta je yang ngorat....

Perempuan2 biasa cam aku ni, memang teringin lah nak jadi cantik...cam best je kan jadi cantik.....
Tapi, macam mana???udoh ghupe macam ni, macam ni ler sampei bile2....

Yang penting, bersyukur....bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada...
Bayangkan, sesuatu yang much worst happen to us...kita mesti begging to turn back the time...
Time tu, baru pandai nk appreciate...and.....it is too late...

Path hidup kita berbeza dari orang lain....
Kita rasa hidup orang lain interesting because of their physical appearance....
Trust me, your life is much more better than them...

My advice, bila kita rasa down, think of your strength....
Look inside you....there is only ONE you...something that you had while others don't....

That's all..................
Salam....barokallah 'alaikum.....

KoNfLiK KeLuaRga???DaLaM BaS????

Salam 'alaik.....

2 things that burden me during the break n during my journey at the end of my semester break....

Konflik keluarga ni, tak boleh nak lari laaaa....most family have it...positively u can say, as part of communication...negatively u can say, it's the beginning of broken family....
Na'uzubillah....kita tak nak la benda2 tak baik jadi dalam family kita....doa yang baik2 aje....

But the conflict got me thinking....
Banyak lagi yang aku kena contribute kat family before aku kawen (cam la nak kawen sok).....
Banyak hati kena jaga sebab tak mau ada hati orang tua yang terasa....
Banyakkan kurang berbelanja, sebab yang aku belanja tu bukan duit aku....
Banyakkan kurang melawan kalau tak nak mata lebam (yang ni ssh sket, sebab aku mmg direct person)....

Banyaklah lagi benda yang kena sensitive.....
Apa yang aku nak bagi kat mak ayah aku eh???
Dulu masa kecik2 banyak menabur janji kat mak la especially....
Tapi tak ada satu pun lagi yang aku realisasikan....
But, I really want them to be happy (cam la org lain xnk parents die happy).....

Ok, tu bab family conflict during the break....yang journey balik UMK pulak....
Al-kisah di atas bas....
Menyedarkan aku betapa mudahnya kita tunduk pada nafsu...prinsip yang kita pegang dari dulu boleh terlepas dari pegangan dalam satu malam...
So, tak hairanlah kenapa mudah sangat orang terlibat dengan sex and dengan mudah membuang bayi yang dikandung 9 bulan....
Susah payah boleh dilupakan hanya kerana dorongan nafsu yang datang pada satu malam....

Apa yang jadi dalam bas??? Allah Ta'ala lebih tahu...detail....aku sendiri pun tak tahu keseluruhan...aku mungkin tahu dari side aku...but there are 2 sides in every story...and the other side of it, I don't have any idea not even a pinch of salt....

Menyesal dengan apa yang berlaku???SANGAT!!!!!!
Aku tak pernah menyesal atas apa yang berlaku kat diri aku...tapi kejadian tu, menyesalkan...
Sebab apa menyesal???Because we have the right and gut to say no, to prevent, to not letting ourselves to fall for it...but instead, I haven't done anything...I just let it happened....

Why?????
Sebab nak merasai keseronokan yang sementara....
Memang betul2 sementara...about 4 to 5 hours after the incident, all the 'joy' is gone...
Keseronokan yang sementara, penyesalan yang selama-lamanya.....

Setiap kejadian ada hikmah...ada sebab...tarbiyah yang terbaik datangnya dari Allah Ta'ala...
Apa yang aku nak buat lepas incident tu...???
I think about it everyday n every night....and all I get, silence...

Silence could be the best answer...and I'm gonna stick with it...because it gives me peace...for once after the incident, I finally got the peace....but the peace doesn't mean that I was right at that time and peace doesn't mean forgotting......................................

Dah time tido aku nih....permisi....nanti aku sambung lagi....
Wasalam..............................

A pLaCe u CaN cALl HoMe.....

Salamussobah.....

It's been more than 2 months now n I heven't gone back home....that's just sucksss!!!
I have all these excited feelings of coming to my sissy house....n for me, I don't feel like a home...that's even sucker!!!
I'm 21 n if I ever complain on what the hell am I going thru now, that's just the suckest thing ever!!!

So, what actually gone wrong here?
Is it because I have to babysit my nephew who got chicken pox? No, that's fine...plus he doing alright...nakal2 tu ada la...he just a kid....
Is it because the way my sister treat me? No...everything superb...she's an amazing cook....

May be it is because of my high expectation of coming here in a first place...
When it is the end of ur semester, after all the struggles u gone thru for ur exams, u just wanna escape for a while where no critical thinking is required, no worrying, and yes to privacy....
Non of the list above I can say "checked" to...

Dalam pale otak aku, datang sini memang nk yoya2...aku lupe yang kakak aku ade 2 orang anak yang kecik n she's pregnant too...
What kind of 'yoya' am I expecting????!!!
Ngeng betul aku ni......

A home to me is a place where u have ur own private room, u're free to do what ever u want without thinking "is it ok if i do this???"

I'm just so freaking miss my home right now...
Sedangkan kt rumah nnti same je...lg ramai budak2 yang membingitkan telinga aku...but at least, I'm comfortable to go and do what ever I want and make my own decision....

I know this post might sound irrational n I'm sorry for that irrationality but hey, it's my blog I'm free to say what ever I want....

Bley tak, sekali je dalam idop aku ni, aku nak rasa xperlu bertanggungjawab atas ape2.....???
Like that's gonna happen....life is about responsibility....

I'm starting to sound like a lady who need a serious treatment...so I'm gonna put an end here....

Wasalam......

MaCaM2.....

Macam2 da jd skang ni...nk gelak, xde la klakar sgt...
Nk mara, xde sbb yg kukuh...
Nk diam, ade salah paham...
Nk cakap, ramai yang kate die xkn dgr....

Ramai da member2 aku and semuanya Alhamdulillah aku bley paham...
Tp ade sorang ni....aneh la pulak...mungkin xcukup lg usaha pemahaman...
Apa yang aku bley cakap, dia patutnya bersyukur dengan kawan2 yang dia ada...
Ramai yang kisah pasal dia....ramai yang sabar dengan karenah dia...
The least thing dia can do is appreciate them(except me...i'm just a fucking bitch..haha)...

Tp appreciation tu pulak di anggap hipokrit....
Aku xtau la mana datang kekerapan penggunaan perkataan hipokrit ni...
Hipokrit ke kita kalau sanggup ketepikan perasaan sendiri utk jaga hati kawan2?
It's more to compromise actually...

So why are we compromising???
That's the key for long term relationship...
Give and take...
Keep on giving and no gaining tu la yang buat orang fed up...

Fucking bitch, gila lelaki, bawak mulut jaja cerita....
Tu la panggilan yang aku dapat bila aku berani expresskan ke-fed-up-an aku....
Seriously, aku xkesah pon dengan panggilan2 tu...
Yang xbley blah bawak mulut jaja cerita tu la...adehhh.....!

Bawak mulut tu memang wajib la...xkan nak tinggal...
Jaja cerita???
Ini yang kita xpasti ni...
Haha....

Aku xperlu nak jaja cerita buruk pasal dia....
Orang yang datang kt aku cerita pasal dia...

Setiap orang ada limit...
When it is over the limit, explosion happen...
Ada lagi sorang yang belum explode lagi...
Wait and see je la.....

Hidup kt dunia ni sementara je...
This short life should be fullfiled with happiness...
And happiness is when we are happy and others too...

Apa guna kita je gembira tapi orang yang sama2 dengan kita x...
Tu namanya pentingkan diri sendiri...

Rasulullah bersabda:
"Tidak akan sempurna iman seseorang Muslim jika tidak mengasihi saudaranya sebagaimana dia mengasihi dirinya sendiri"

Rasulullah pun suruh utamakan orang lain...
Sebab bila kita utamakan orang lain, menunjukkan kesucian hati, kebaikan akhlak kita sendiri...
Kita juga secara tidak langsung akan rasa bahagia bila orang lain turut sama gembira...

Maaf tu paling di tuntut...
Rasulullah maafkan umat Baginda...
Allah Ta'ala sentiasa rindukan taubat hambaNya walaupun kita ni banyak sangat dosa dengan Allah...

Tapi kalau manusia xnk maafkan kawan dia atas alasan "aku xbley terima apa yang dia cakap kt aku"...
Allah.....betapa bangga, angkuh, sombong, bongkak nye la orang tu...
Semua orang buat salah...mana ada yang sempurna...
Kalau aku bley terima dia balik, kenapa x dia???

Sekurang-kurangnya, aku cakap depan2 apa yang aku xpuas ati...
Xmengata belakang2...
Ko ingat orang yang baik2 depan ko tu xmengata ko kt belakang ke???
At least aku jujur....

Buruk mana pun insan ni...
We used to be friend...
And despite everything that happened, i'm looking forward to end up this 'war'...
And that 'peace' gonna happen...
InsyaAllah.....

aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!

skang pukul 3.38 pg...n i'm still awake....just about to go to sleep, but i saw something that got me thinking...

betapa jauhnye aku dari keadaan sebenar skang...lama sangat da aku memendam rasa n mengharapkan all these crap feelings that i had would gone...for once, i just wanna be free...

i had many good friends n i just not one of them...aku bukan kawan yang baik...i tried, but that's not enough...i tried to cry so i can let all the things got washed away by my tears, but doesn't feel like it...how am i gonna express these feelings....???

aku selalu pikir, apa yang akan jadi kalau aku berterus terang?
boleh ke orang terima???
sama macam dulu ke orang tu dengan aku???
betul ke aku akan rasa release bila da cerita semuanya???

kawan yang paling lama aku kenal, n paling rapat, terasa makin jauh...aku rasa, bukan dia yang menjauhkan diri, tapi aku...sejak peristiwa tu, lama da, tapi sampai hari ni aku jauh hati...aku yang sepatutnya gembira dia da ada seseorang yang dia suka, bertukar jadi aku benci laki tu...sedangkan laki tu pun kawan aku...

aku xtau macam mana nak cakap benda ni kat dia...Allah aje yang tau macam mana susahnya aku kena berlakon supaya xabvious aku punya rasa benci ni...n i know she's not stupid...i know she knew...

everytime i think of her, air mata ni asek nak mengalir je...how i miss those days when we are so close n how helpful she had been to me...tapi skrang???

wishing her 21st birthday is not as exciting as other birthdays...aku lupa birthday dia...ak terjaga pun sbb alarm bday bunyi...kalo sebelum ni aku determine nak jadi the 1st one to wish, tp aritu, i forgot!!! damn me!!! maybe jugak dia xmengharapkan lagi aku jadi the 1st one to wish...damn!!! now i'm crying againnnn!!!!

i love this person so much....no one can ever replace her...the only one i know...

i cried when i didn't pick up the phone when she called bcoz she's sad....
i cried when she cries....
i cried like hell when she had to leave me n go to another school...
i cried just by knowing she had a problem...

my face just lit up when i talked about how wonderful she is...
i smiled and all my troubles gone just by receiving her messages...
i smiled when recalling our memories together...
i'm so proud to have a friend like her...

i'm too proud, sampai aku rasa xboleh kongsi dia dengan siapa2....

we had this dream yang nak pursue study kt luar negara at least once...nak rasa cmne dok negara orang...aku still lagi pegang dream tu and aku xtau kalo dia still lagi berminat...n if she is, i'm not sure whether she would like to go with me or with someone else...

everytime aku balik kL selain nk jumpe kakak n anak buah aku, aku nak sangat jumpa dia n just lepak, borak2, catch up a few things, girl talk...just the two of us...sebab xtau bila lagi ada masa tok lepak since masing2 pon da semakin dewasa...

i want u to know,
aku kalo boleh nk jumpe ko ari2...
lepak ngn ko ari2....
jadi the first person to know sume latest story ko...
bwk ko jln2 bile aku da berani bwk kete...
celebrate bday ko kt tempat yg ko suke....
go out shopping walopon just nk menyemak je kt kedai tu sbb xde duit pon nk shopping sebenarnya....
main buaiyan sama2 n just menikmati cuaca ptg tanpa ckp apa2 pon...just enjoy the silent evening....
blaja kt oversea dgn ko...
jln2 kt negara org mase tgh blaja kt sana...
main salji sama2....
aku nak jadi pengapit ko mase ko kawen...
teman ko dalam labour room...
babysit anak ko, kalo ko kena keje n aku menganggur...
n many more........................

if non of those we can do together, at least, remember me as ur friend....remember u've once had a friend named Nur Aizat bt Kamarulzaman...that'a all i'm asking for...